Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
