Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
