I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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