Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
