Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize