Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Where is the hickey?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
