He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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