The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
smell my finger.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
