apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
