not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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