yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize