Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
