sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was confusing and full of hummus
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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