my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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