I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
