Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize