Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
