i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
