Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
