I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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