The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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