i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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