at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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