He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize
