discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize