I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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