I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
