Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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