Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
