I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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