peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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