i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
