Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
