Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
