Whatcha textin bout Willis?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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