Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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