Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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