We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
