I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize