So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Congratulations! We have a period
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
