the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
