I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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