She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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