I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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