STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
