the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
