it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize