I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
