Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
