Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize