Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
