My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
