38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
