I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize