Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
