piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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