That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
