Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
