absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
