i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
