She said her name was "party"
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
