an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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