Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
